Men In Tights
by izzybizzy333
Summary: After losing a bet, the men of the Justice League must sacrifice that which they hold most dear... their pride.
1. The Bet

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

_"Yes."_

_ "NO."_

" Girls could totally beat the guys in a paintball war!"

"They're completely outnumbered!"

"We'd get the sidekicks. There, problem solved."

"Okay, fine, but we're better. Besides, we have the Batman."

"You know what? We are so on! I'm gonna get the other girls. You guys are going down!"

"Yeah right! If you girls won, we'd give you anything. It's completely impossible. We could even beat you without powers!"

"You wanna bet?"

"Yeah! You're on!"


	2. The Inconcievable

"We can't fail. Everything comes down to this. This is the end if we fail." Batman nodded to his fellow heroes. They broke into formation, all eyes uneasily trained on the heroes across from them. Their guns were moved nervously from one shoulder to the other and the foot shuffling was almost deafening in it's magnitude. Across from the room it was a different story. Those brightly coloured individuals were excited and self-assured.

"Look at them! They're practically shaking!" Crowed Huntress delightedly. Black Canary moved her paintball gun to the other shoulder and surveyed the men across from them. She had to agree. They _were_ practically shaking. That didn't mean she'd underestimate the men of the Justice League though. Black Canary couldn't afford to lose. There was too much at stake. Besides, the men still outnumbered the women drastically. Because of this drastic uoutnumbering, the women had been afforded all of the sidekicks, girl and boy, in the legendary paintball war of 2010. And they were going to use them.

Barbara Gordon, Robin and Wonder Woman were the architects of the women's stratagem against the men. Even Shayera had cackled at the thought of what they planned to do to the men when they won. And so in the mindset of winning, Shayera had made a temporary alliance with Vixen, much like the temporary alliance between Huntress and Black Canary. No enmity would be borne between the women for this brief moment in time. The women were ready. Wonder Woman, their general of sorts, took one last look around and then signaled their readiness to J'onn and Red Tornado, the referees of the had begun.

In the end, the paintball war only took about 45 minutes. The last hold outs of Vigilante, Question and Green Lantern were dealt with quickly and the women were declared victorious.

"How did this happen! It's inconceivable!" Lamented Green Arrow. He had been the third to be taken out, after Batman was distracted by Wonder Woman and shot in the back by Robin and Superman had been attacked by the combined forces of Black Canary and Huntress. The men had fallen apart after that.

"Inconceivable!" Lamented Green Arrow once more.

"Shut up and take it like a man!" Jeered Huntress. Black Canary narrowed her eyes.

"Don't pick on my boyfriend! He had no chance!" She defended.

The men laying around in various battle weary positions chuckled at the blond archer.

The banter was quickly interrupted by Wonder Woman.

"Women of the JLU! To me!" The women swiftly gathered around her, congratulating each other on their victory. She quieted them with one raised hand, then called out in her best Amazonian Princess voice, sounding both polite and condescending at once,

"Present one leader who will hear our condition and pass it on to the other men."

No one stood. The men were angry enough already, nobody wanted to be the one to tell the others what the women would do to them now that they had lost. Finally Superman stood, covered in purple and black paint splatters. He made his way to the forefront of the room, quiet in defeat. He followed the women into the next room as the other men peeled themselves from the floor, angry and self- righteous. As they waited for Superman the other men either avoided each others eyes guiltily or gathered into groups of friends and whined about how the women had surely cheated.

When Superman reentered, the paint splattered room fell silent.

"It's- It's- It's horrible!" The man of steel yelled, promptly fainting away.


	3. The Song and Dance

"I'm not doing this!"

"You have to. Now get out there."

Superman stumbled onto the stage, blushing as he saw the women watching him gleefully. He sighed, closed his eyes, prayed for this to be over quickly, and summoned his best mock British accent.

Green Arrow tumbled out from the other side of the makeshift stage.

The women all giggled expectantly.

"Thank you so much for inviting me Diana. I would have been sorry indeed to miss this." One woman whispered to Wonder Woman as the men on the stage gathered the patience to proceed.

"My pleasure Mrs. Kent." Smiled Diana.

Superman looked like he was in pain but managed to spit his line out in a theatrical manner.

"Let's face it. You've got to be a man to wear tights."

Green Arrow nodded at him miserably.

"How do I look?" Asked Superman, turning so that his butt faced Green Arrow. Several of the women answered but were quickly silenced as Green Arrow replied.

"Perfect." Green Arrow said in his British Accent.

"Every time!" Exclaimed Superman, striking a pose.

They high fived as the music began. Robin was practically bouncing in his seat, waiting for his mentor to debut.

_We're men, We're men in tights!_

_We roam around the world looking for fights!_

The men sang as they began to dance. The giggles were already becoming laughter.

_We're men, we're men in tights._

_We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!_

_We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!_

Superman sang as he punched Green Arrow. Batman was to the right of him and did not look amused by the choreography that they were being forced to perform.

_We're men, we're men in tights,_

_Always on guard defending the people's rights._

Batman looked ready to break his law of not killing as the Can-Can Chorus Line began and the men formed into a line, kicking up high.

_La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la! _

They sang while doing the most advanced cherography yet. Then the Can- Can ended and they began their ode to tights once more.

_We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights._

_[Gay voice] Yes!_

_We roam around the forest looking for fights._

_We're men, we're men in tights._

_We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!_

_We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights._

_We're men, we're men in tights_

_[High Voice] TIGHT Tights_

_Always on guard defending the people's rights._

_When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!_

_WE'RE BUTCH! _

By the time they had finished, all of the spectators were on the floor laughing. Wally seemed to have enjoyed himself, and came down from the stage to talk to the girls while the rest of his brethren slunk off to lick their emotional wounds.

"Please tell me someone got that on camera!" Laughed Huntress, her voice breathless from mirth.

"I did!" Said Barbara Gordon, laughing too." Uploading to Youtube... now. You may now watch it whenever you need a good laugh. Oh that was too funny!"

Wonder Woman leaned over to Shayera conspiratorially. "I wonder what we can get them to do next year!"

**A/N: I did not come up with this song. It's from a movie about Robin Hood. I saw the YouTube video and immediately thought... Justice League! I hope you liked this! I had fun writing it. I wonder what the boys will do for revenge...**


End file.
